From Slacktory:
Salutations, internet ne’erdowells. Since I was a lad, I have enjoyed fine cinema. In those days, films were written and performed properly. With a dignified vocabulary and diligent diction.
Alas, those days have gone the way of the dodo. Class and manners have been usurped by poorly constructed idioms and distasteful vulgarity. I cannot view a picture film without my ears being molested by the horrendous mangling of the English language.
Therefore I have put my quill to parchment and rewritten some of the most famed movie quotations as a proper Englishman would have uttered them. I think you’ll see that they are much improved upon.
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