Drum roll, please. Drummer accused of masturbating while driving on I-95

From The Sun Sentinel

This beats everything.

A female motorist reported a driver, later identified as Ronald Ayers, was performing a sex act on himself while driving on I-95 near Ormond Beach, reports the Orlando Sentinel.

The 36-year-old Jacksonville musician drummed up an excuse for the deputy who later pulled him over: Ayers said he’s a drummer who commutes between Jacksonville to Daytona Beach and he frequently simulates playing the drums while driving by hitting his steering wheel with drum sticks, which were found between his two front seats, according to the report.

But the woman was sticking to her story and reportedly insisted that it was not possible that she mistook the drum sticks for his penis.