“Ukrainian city to get pigeons drunk then deport them”

From Shortlist:

UKRAINIANS DISCUSS PLAN TO GET PIGEONS DRUNK THEN DEPORT THEM

Hats off to a city in northeastern Ukraine that’s considering a plan to take on the local pigeons by getting them plastered on wine before deporting them.

Russian International News Agency Ria Novosti says that the radical measure was proposed to protect a monument to poet Taras Shevchenko in Sumy from being covered in bird droppings.

“Let’s give them wine-soaked bread and then deport them somewhere where they’ll wake up the next day,” Alexei Movchan, who heads the city branch of the ruling Party of Regions, said.

He waved off concerns over animal cruelty by saying that deportation of inebriated birds is practiced in the Holy Dormition Pochayiv Lavra, an Orthodox Christian monastery in the country’s west.

Clear as mud.