The top five things that happen to you when you work in a record store

From Pete Morey, CBC:

Independent record stores are an endangered species and they’re about to head the way of the dodo if we’re not careful. If you go into your local record store today on Record Store Day you might find an album by the band dodos, but I’ll bet the atmosphere in the store will be far from the doom and gloom of imminent extinction.

That is because record stores are lively hubs where the staff and customers argue about music in person (not in cyberspace). A record store is a haven for those who like musical debate and great tunes.

I guess the sad truth is that people buy less music these days, album sales are at a tweleve year low and just check out this documentry about the last record store in Tees side Uk.

Forget the depressing facts and figures because today, April 21st 2012, we celebrate Record Store Day.

If you love music, working in a record store is a dream job. I did it for two years and had the time of my life. I worked in a small independent store called Essential Music (it has since shut down- gulp!) In the record store you are surrounded by music. You eat sleep and breathe the stuff all day long. Working in a record store almost gives you license to be a music snob and loveable jerk (which is great fun). You’re the one behind the counter with the musical knowledge, which equals power in the record store!

If you work in a record store for long enough there are five things that will eventually happen to you.

Here are the top five things that happen to you if you work in a record store:

5. A customer will sing at you.

Here’s how this one will go down. It will be a busy morning the store will be full, music will be blasting from the stereo. A customer will approach the counter ask you to turn it down and say “I’m looking for a song I heard. I think it was about love. I can’t remember its name, who its by or any of the lyrics…but it goes like this” They will then without a stitch of embarrassment sing the melody of the song loudly in your face, half humming, half whining, making up the words they half remember.

Here’s how to handle the situation. Do nothing. Chances are they will keep singing until you stop them so just let them go. They may even start using their cell phone or fist as a microphone.

When they finally finish, if you have no idea what the song is tell them.

WARNING. They may say “really?” and try singing it to you a second time. If you know please put them out of their misery.

4. You may end up acting out a scene from the movie/book High Fidelity

Over my time in the store I definitely turned into one of those “know it all” music snobs who wears a toque indoors even on hot days and only wears obscure band t-shirts. Here’s how to look like one too.

I became like a character in High Fidelity and so I decided to put a scene from the movie to the test. John Cussack’s character in the movie declares he can sell 5 copies of the Beta Band’s “3 E.Ps” on the strength of the first song to his easily influenced customers.

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