I love the Internet so much. America’s netizens have demanded that President Obama consider building the legendary Star Wars Death Star and the White House has responded. Unsurprisingly, they have thoughtfully rejected the request, claiming it would cost an estimated $850,000,000,000,000,000 and that “the administration does not support blowing up planets.” The White House was forced to offer an official response to arguably the silliest question in American history since the petition garnered the requisite 25K signatures on the WeThePeople petitioning system.
After a groundswell of media attention cast a spotlight on the administration’s delayed response to the petition, the good folks in the executive branch finally coughed up an equally silly blog post, “This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For.”
“The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon,” wrote Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. In addition to a reasonable aversion for mass genocide, Shawcross worried that the costly weapon has a well-known vulnerability. “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?”
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