Greg Kihn’s 10 Commandments of Touring

From Michael Brandvold:

10 commandments of touring

The completely underrated Greg Kihn recently released his  “Ten Commandments of Touring”, coming from years of experience touring the world.

1.    Never get separated from the band in a foreign country.
2.    Never leave the hotel with a chick who says she’ll take you to the airport in the morning.
3.    Never drink in the hotel bar alone, nothing good can happen.
4.    You’re better off smoking a joint alone in your room and watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island than going to a local club with some chicks you just met.
5.    When singing the National Anthem, start low and sing fast.
6.    Never drink from the mini-bar in your room.
7.    Never poop in the lavatory on the tour bus, peeing is OK, but defecation is not welcome.
8.    Never drink the other band’s beer, steal their women, or smoke their stash, it’s bad karma.
9.    Always treat the roadies with respect; they can really make you look bad if they want.  Remember, they have their own secret credo from which they never vary- (I’ll tell you but don’t say you heard it from me.)  The Roadie’s Credo- “If it’s wet, drink it, if it’s dry, smoke it, if it moves fuck it, if it doesn’t move, put it in the truck.”
10.  Pace yourself, it’s a long tour.