Collection of one-star Amazon reviews of some of the greatest books ever written


From The Morning News:

The following are excerpts from actual one-star reviews of books from Time’s list of the 100 best novels from 1923 to the present. Some entries have been edited.

Beloved by Toni Morrison (1987)
“Morrison’s obviously a good writer, but truly, her subject matter leaves a LOT to be desired in this book. It’s raunchy beyond belief. People do things with farm animals that they shouldn’t. I couldn’t get through the first two chapters without vomiting. Some things you just shouldn’t put in your head.”

The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder (1927)
“Basically all that happens is five people die on a small bridge and then the author goes on to discuss these people’s lives. What a BORE. Unless you’re some philosophical nerd, you will not enjoy this book at ALL. If I was the author of this book I’d tell myself to get a grip on the real world.”

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller (1961)
“Obviously, a lot people were smoking a lot of weed in the ’60s to think this thing is worth reading.”

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (1951)
“So many other good books…don’t waste your time on this one. J.D. Salinger went into hiding because he was embarrassed.”

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (1963)
“In the first 20 pages, Alex and his lackies beat a guy senseless and rob him; they steal a car and trash it, they get into a vicious gang fight; they attack a couple at their home, destroy the husband’s life work (his book, A Clockwork Orange), beat him and his wife senseless, and rape the wife. This really ticked me off.”

The Confessions of Nat Turner by William Styron (1967)
“My great-great-grandfather is not gay! I don’t know why this William Styron is trying to lie on my great-great-grandfather. Needless to say I am a descendant of Nat Turner and it bothers me that this author is trying to lie to make this book more interesting. I cannot say for certainty that my grandfather was not gay or that he didn’t like white women and neither can this author but I can say that Nat Turner was married and had children and I am a descendant of that union! Other than that idiotic portrayal the book was good.”

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