100 Things That Will Not Exist In 1,000 Years

headimage-4fb44c46e46dc

From Team Coco:

A recent statistical study predicts that the Japanese people will face extinction by the year 3011. Researchers at Tohoku University calculated current birthrate trends and concluded that the very distant future is childless for the ancient island nation.

This bleak warning is more than sensationalistic junk science intended to scare Japanese citizens into breeding more. It is an opportunity to also freak out about what else will cease to be a millennium from right now. If so-called scientists can make hysterical predictions about the future, then so can we.

Thumbs
Dolphins
New Jersey
Toaster Ovens
“Dancing With The Stars”
Dinosaurs (Again)
Fedoras
Mouth breathers
Landscape Oil Paintings
Grandma
QWERTY keyboards
Pugs
That Guy At The DMV Who Smells Like Maalox
Lower Back Tattoos Of Butterflies
Margaritas
Enemas
Constitutional Republics
Improv Comedy
Weight Watchers
Non-mutant Cockroaches
Tartar Sauce
Valet Parking
Handlebar Moustaches
Yankees Fans
$25 Checked Bag Fees
Yoga
Vampire Movies
Arizona
Dating
Chocoholism
Hedge Fund Managers
Fuchsia
Toilet Paper
“Toddlers & Tiaras”
iPads
Bullets
Laser Bullets
Statistics
High-Fives
Smooth Jazz
Talking Bears
Dental Floss
Bagel pizzas
Holograms
Instagram
Zombie Penguins
Prom Dresses
Keynesian Economics
Dubstep
Mimes

Continue reading the rest of the story on Team Coco