I was in LA on holiday with Sara and the boys, and Russell [Brand] came to see us. And he goes, “What you doing tonight? I was with Morrissey last night, and he reckons we should go out for a drink.” So Russell’s texting him from my hotel room, saying, “It’s on,” and Morrissey’s texting back, going [does pitch-perfect, drawling Morrissey impression] “Wonderful. Tell him to bring his credit card.”
And we get to this gaff – this is like at seven in the evening – and I’m saying to Russell, “I’m up for it tonight, but I don’t want to keep Sara up all night, we’ll kick things in the head about two.” And Russell snorts. “2 o’clock? We’ll be out of here in 40 minutes! I can’t handle Morrissey for more than 40 minutes: he’s fucking mental!” So, we go in, and there he’s sat, and I could write a book on that night.
Russell doesn’t drink so me and Morrissey were roaring drunk. First thing, he got up and sort of shook my hand. I said, “Alright mate, how’re you doing?” because I’ve met him at awards ceremonies, I’ve been on planes with him going to festivals. He’d just cancelled all the gigs in South America because he had whatever it was. So I go, “I thought you just cancelled a load of gigs, I thought you were at death’s door.” And he said [raises eyebrows, does the voice again] “Yet here I am”.
So it just descended, and he was fucking hilarious. He doesn’t have a good word to say about anyone, anyone, anything. At one point he was asking [the voice again] “Who do we find funny?” and I was like, “I don’t know? Micky Flanagan?” and he’d just go [rolls eyes back in head, puts fingertips of stretched-out on table, shouts exasperatedly] “Micky Flanagan!!!!”. And I’d say, “What about Jack Dee?” and he’d just go [leans forward and shout] “He! Is! Not! FUNN-Y!” Russell was just so nervous, and Morrissey was going, “Come on, come on, can’t we drink champagne and get pissed.” It just went on for quite a while, and he was brilliant.
And I have to tell you this story. I was saying to him, “So, when you were with The Smiths, the melodies that you wrote… well, you had all these words, but your way with melody is quite unique, it’s not the blues and it’s not pop, so did you have all these songs before you met Johnny?”
And he says [preens] “I did”. And I was like, “Did you?” He said, “I had them on cassette”. And I said, “But you can’t play the guitar” He said, “No, no, but I had a little drum kit”. And I said, “What, a drum kit?” and he said, “Yes, yes, yes”. And I said, “What did you have a drum kit for?” and he said, “Well, not many people know this, but Rice Crispies once asked me to do a jingle for them”. So I said, “Really? Did you do it?” and he said, “No, no, no, I wouldn’t play it.” The he paused and leaned over, and said, “I wouldn’t wear the leather.” [erupts in laughter]
And you know what: he never asked me a single fucking question about why I was in LA, what I was doing, Oasis splitting up, nothing. When you’re with Morrissey, you’re in the court of Morrissey. But he’s a fucking uber-legend. What a top man.
Via The Quietus
Hey! It was Record Store Day this past weekend, so let’s take a look at some awful/awesome record covers found online.
An iconic visionary who continues to inspire rebels and artists everywhere, Andy Warhol was hailed as the preeminent American artist of the 20th century. Merging pop culture, film, music, screen printing and performance, Andy’s vision and creativity opened the door for millions of artists and performers. Converse is celebrating his legacy with the Andy Warhol Collection — inspiring us all to push boundaries with your creativity.
Looking like he just left a Shalamar audition, Jarrell and his hair salon in St. Louis produced what is likely to be the best ’80s ad ever. Don’t bother calling the number – the place doesn’t exist, and apparently Jarrell now lives in Las Vegas.
Inside Abbey Road is a site built by Google in partnership with Abbey Road Studios. The aim is to enable anyone in the world to follow in the footsteps of musical legends, and step inside the famous British recording studio as it’s never been seen before. Once inside, you can explore every nook and cranny of the three recording studios, and discover stories, images, videos and music spanning the decades. You can also be guided around by producer Giles Martin, Head of Audio Products Mirek Stiles, or broadcaster Lauren Laverne, and even play with interactive versions of pioneering Abbey Road Studios equipment.
Are you looking for a way to preserve and celebrate your tangible memory of music? Do you want to give a music lover something you know they don’t have but that they’ll want? Check out the Vinyl Art creations by Daniel Edlen Painted by hand with white acrylic directly on record albums, portraits of musicians and entertainers celebrate their creative contributions.
Building on my background in sculpture and rapidograph dot drawings, Daniel uses the unique canvas of the LP to create dramatic compositions that spark conversations. Is that a real record? Is that on the record? Is it done with a computer? Is it still playable?
According to Wikipedia and the art community, acrylic paint will not crack or yellow. The paint sticks surprisingly well to the vinyl, getting into the grooves. You’d have to scratch it to damage it. You can even send him an album to use.
This Sizzler Promotional Commercial from 1991 was an internal video used for training purposes and investors. If it doesn’t make you want to stand up and salute that American flag, nothing will. It’ll make you want to order a steak, with an order of freedom on the side.
What makes Airplane! such a good comedy is that it mixes different kinds of humor. If you don’t like its parody of disaster movies, you can enjoy its great slapstick and surreal bits. And if you don’t like that, there’s always Leslie Nielsen’s hilarious deadpan delivery. And if you don’t like that, then I’m sorry … I’m sorry, Unit XZ-15, for not being able to program you a soul before your escape.
The only type of humor that Airplane! doesn’t seem to do is political humor, but it only seems that way because you don’t instantly recognize this guy:
Early on in the movie, he gets into a taxi right before the driver jumps out to chase after his ex-girlfriend, telling the passenger that he’ll be back in a minute. But instead he boards the titular airplane, while the clueless customer sits in the cab with the meter running. At the end, there’s even a quick scene showing him still waiting, having accumulated hundreds of dollars in cab fare, and telling himself that he’ll give the driver another 20 minutes.
On its own, it’s a pretty good joke, but it becomes a million times cleverer if you know who the taxi passenger is. As it so happens, he was played by Howard Jarvis, an American businessman and politician who lowered California’s property taxes by spearheading Proposition 13. And that’s the joke. Jarvis, who was primarily known for his strong views on fiscal responsibility and limited spending, played a character on Airplane! who’s the exact opposite of careful with money, unless he was always planning to murder and rob the driver.
Chillwave was a term invented by thought leader/influencer Hipster Runoff blog to classify a type of music loosely defined by summertime imagery, analog production, and heavy usage of samples. It really only existed from the summer of 2009 to the beginning of 2011, around the time when no one was sure how much of Hipster Runoff was a gag and how much was sincere tastemaking. In the music, you can hear the lo-fi, bedroom aesthetic of early Ariel Pink and the playful, beachy quality of middle-period Animal Collective. Projects like Memory Tapes, Com Truise, and Nite Jewel could have been thrown in with existing genres like shoegaze or dream pop, but by creating a term from nothing, it revealed how arbitrary and meaningless labels like that really are. It wasn’t a scene. It was a parody of a scene, both a defining moment for the music blogosphere and the last gasp. Sites like Gorilla vs. Bear and Pitchfork bought into it for a while, and sincere think pieces in traditional media publications like the Wall Street Journal asked, “Is Chillwave the Next Big Music Trend?”
It never could have been a proper trend, because it was transparently manufactured. The artists, many of whom had never even heard of each other before the “summer of chillwave,” started to rebel against the classification, realizing we’d all get wise to the joke eventually. Josh Kolenik of Small Black is quoted in that Wall Street Journal trend piece saying, “We were out the other night with the dudes from Neon Indian and we were joking about how we’ve created a scene that never really existed.” He also claimed that they introduced themselves to the other band because they “wanted to make chillwave jokes.” It was like a Russian nesting doll of irony. Bands whose success was tied to the explosion of a genre preemptively mocked that genre, even though the very existence of the genre was mocking them. I don’t even know who to feel sorry for.
This incredible video shows two newborn twins who still think they’re in their mother’s womb. Using a bathing approach called ‘The Baby Spa’, nurse Sonia Rochel gently eases the babies into their new surroundings with warm water and calming music. Amazing.