Ty Herndon has carried a lot of weight over a long career, and ‘What Mattered Most’ puts all of it on the table. The legendary country singer, known for his hits “Living in a Moment” and “It Must Be Love,” has released his memoir in full, written alongside celebrated biographer David Ritz, whose credits include Marvin Gaye, Janet Jackson, and Willie Nelson. In a new interview with GLAAD’s Anthony Allen Ramos, Herndon opens up about why telling this story on his own terms was the only way it could be told.
The memoir covers territory Herndon kept private for decades. Living as a gay man in secret through the height of his career. A traumatic 1995 encounter with an unidentified police officer that lasted seven hours. Sexual assault he was told never to speak of, and carried alone until the age of 57. “To get into that space, and the breath that I took, the exhale that I took when I finally got to speak of it,” Herndon said in the interview. The book does not shy away from any of it.
Herndon speaks with particular clarity about why he chose to come forward as a male survivor of sexual assault. “We’ve seen so many brave women who’ve come forward and changed the world with their stories, but there’s still a massive silence around men, and I wanted to break that glass,” he said. The memoir is not about naming names or seeking forgiveness. It is about reclaiming integrity, and Herndon makes that distinction with real force.
The personal passages carry equal weight. Herndon reflects on a past relationship he calls one of the great loves of his life, on reconnecting with his late father, and on his mother Mama Peggy, who read the book and met him for coffee afterward with a single question: “Son, I love you. How does redemption feel?” He also speaks about his husband, Alex Schwartz, with warmth and relief. ‘What Mattered Most’ is the account of a man who found his way back to himself. It is essential reading.